With A Deep Breath Followed By A Sigh

Someone made the mistake of pushing the envelope too far in Marvin’s direction concerning disrespect. Marvin was not having it. He called me aside and as we spoke, I knew right from the get-go something was terribly wrong. There was an absolute change in his demeanor, having the look of death on his face. His eyes were fire red, voice low and not clear at all, which was very different from the upbeat person I knew and was with on a daily basis. It was as if he was somewhat winded, however, he was very calm and in control. The first thing he told me was he might have to kill someone today…okay; there was no doubt that what he said was 100% factual. He only needed to know was I able to assist him. There was no question in my mind I was all in, ready to defend my family, even if it meant to the death. How could I not be in on this? Marvin was my brother He sat me down and went over his plan. He wanted me to carry the loaded .38 that we brought back from Kansas. We would be heading out to an apartment in East Germantown; Marvin wanted to drive. I was totally fine with the decision because my hands were already full. I got ready by physically preparing myself, which involved slamming down a beer, putting on my green army jacket, and placing the cold steel pistol into my right jacket pocket. I felt just like Robert Deniro in the movie The Taxi Driver. Was I ready…Damn straight! Was I nervous…Damn straight!! But this was Marvin we were talking about, so I had to pull myself together it is a wonder I did not shoot myself because I never took my finger off the trigger. All Marvin wanted me to do was hand him the gun at the appropriate time and he would handle his business from there. As we parked the car down the street from the apartment building, my mind started to flow with all kinds of questions like, ‘If Marvin got hurt, what would I do? What if someone else got hurt? What if something happened to me? What if the cops come? ’I knew this was not the time for me to ask a lot of questions, no way! This was not a game and Marvin made that very clear to me before we left the car. He paused for a few seconds and then he sat back and braced his arms and hands on the steering wheel…maybe it was to check in and make peace with the Creator, but whatever the case, it was game on.

Choice, Choices Choices…. (Excerpt from Choices pages. 80 and 81)